She: I just cannot stand X.. eerks!
Me: But why?... wat did she do?
She: She didnt do anything... but i cannot tolerate her... i mean she is soo DUMB!... i cannot relate to her..
Me: WAT????? ... you dont like her cos she is dumb??? wat reason is that??
She: X is soo slow... too slow... I just cannot be friends with her.
Me: How can you be so unreasonable... you stopped talking to her for such a superficial reason? She maybe slow.. but its not her fault. she is not a bad person.
She: no... i HATE her ..
This was the time when I thought... nah... this cannot be the reason for hating someone soo deeply.
You see.. my dad always told me.. HATE is a very strong word to use for some1/thing. If you are not a fan of somethin/one use 'dislike' or something like that.
Anyways coming back to the story, after a bit of me lecturing her on values ... she opened up and guess wat! i was right.. it was not the 'dumbness' that bothered her.. the real reason was bigger. X had passed a moral judgement against her ... 'she crossed the line', 'she cannot pass such a moral judgement against me '..
But the truth is ..wat really upset her was that there was a chance that X was right. I tried to tell her that this thought had occurred to quite a few pple and only X had the guts to confront it.
I find hating someone too exhausting.. Herez wat I do... if i have differences with someone ..there are two options : Either confront them and clear things out, if it doesn't work , chuck them out of your life either temporarily or permanently. Just ignore them... dont think about them.. dont call them dont text them dont email them... cut them outta your life... it makes life soo much easier.
Bright part of this is... in the course of time... if you change or they change or situation changes there is always a way to get things back together.
Bottom line: Make life as flexible as possible.
Dont waste energy on hating anyone.
Nothing is permanent ... be it people, life or thoughts (Except change of course ;))
So.. Enjoi life
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